To Beleaguered Parents of Bookworm Children!
- Daniel Eisold
- Jan 6, 2018
- 3 min read
Is feeding your child's book habit a never-ending chore? Do all of the books you research, buy and bring home simply melt away before your eyes? Do you have boxes of books stacking up that you don't know what to do with?
Or maybe you are a keen reader yourself, and are wondering how you might pass the torch on to your son or daughter?
No matter which group you belong to, a genuine interest in reading can do wonders for a developing young mind: the benefits can hardly be overstated. It's a wholesome and enriching habit to pick up, and I couldn't recommend it more.
However, once that flame is kindled, as a parent it falls to you to keep it burning, and that can be a really daunting task, especially on a budget. It's a flame that can go out if neglected - so don't take it for granted.
(Leochi at deviantart.com /Little-Reader)
I'm a parent, and an ex-demon-book-child myself, so I know that supply is often way short of demand. I also know that for a range of reasons, childhood and young adulthood is the best time to feed and nurture that habit. There will never be another chance like it, which is why timing is so important. It was my own mother who furnished me with a constant stream of books. She recognised that it was good, and she worked tirelessly to provide me with the material I seemed to need, even though she wasn't much of a reader herself. That involved a lot of shopping around and researching on her part, as well as a lot of time - without even getting into the expense.
I couldn't begin to estimate how much good that might have done me.
Despite all that, I feel I lost the spark when I was in my early teenage years. I think that because of that, perhaps I'm uniquely placed to give advice on where it can go wrong.
Reading and writing are like any skills, and have their own learning curves. There is a delicate balance to be struck between pushing and challenging reading ability, praising/encouraging good habits and actually staying sane enough to maintain your guidance and assistance over the long-term.
I think that a love of reading begins when a child believes that reading is one of their strengths, and begins to nurture the skill for themselves. Beware, though, of concluding that excessive praise is therefore a shortcut to raising a motivated reader - lavishing praise on children for their reading ability, strangely, seems to have the opposite effect. Overt positive feedback has a curious effect on children - it can make them fear losing their parents pride, esteem or respect, and if they are afraid that they can't uphold the standards they think their parents expect from them, they will feel less able to be honest when they encounter failure or perform poorly (for example on a spelling test or similar), and may abandon a skill altogether out of fear of disappointing you. That isn't limited to just reading, either. Not all positive reinforcement is so overt, though, so low-key encouragement should still be effective. If a child feels good while reading, even it's due to something completely unrelated, an association will soon form. Once the right book is found, it then becomes self-perpetuating.
I'm working on a list at the moment of the best children's books I can recommend, and crucially I'll be suggesting when is the best time to read them. There are a few books that I never ended up reading, because they were bought too early for me. I grew frustrated because they were too difficult, and sometimes never picked them up again. Lord of the Rings is a good example - I've still never read it to this day. If it had been given to me a couple of years later, maybe I would have! There were other books that I found really, really hard hitting and moving as a child, but when revisiting them as an adult, they just weren't the same. There are others still that people swear by, but I've already missed the boat. So, timing is important!
I hate sounding melodramatic, but finding the right book at the right time is something that might only happen a handful of times in someone's life. It literally stays with you forever, and it's perhaps one of the greatest gifts that you have in your power to give.